Can I be cured of my same sex attraction?
No. But I will qualify that.
Our sexuality and gender are just not binaries. All of us are on a range of spectra for different characteristics – sexual attraction, gender identity, gender expression, physical aspects etc. as well as the character aspects of masculinity and femininity. It is a myth to say that we are either just male or female.
This means that some people can be attracted to both sexes, so for them, the shift to opposite sex attraction isn’t a problem, just a bit of tweaking around “lust” towards the same sex. This accounts for the handful of so called successful ex-gays.
But what about the ex-gay movement and their claims of healing?
Most of these people are very sincere and have only wanted to be free of something they have been told is sinful. Many learn to live a heterosexual lifestyle through repressing their core natural sexuality/gender identity using intense self discipline and distraction with “hyper” spirituality – often involving obsession with ritual, self denial and religious activity. There are also those who were never strictly “gay” in the first place and are more fluid or “bisexual”, who can “choose” to repress one side in preference to the other.
But God says in the bible that homosexuality is a sin!
No he doesn’t. The bible talks about perversion, male temple prostitutes and paedophiles, but does not even mention loving same sex relationships (except for possibly David and Jonathan in the OT). The English translations since the KJV have incorrectly used many different ambiguous terms and it wasn’t until 1958 that the Amplified Version actually used the word homosexual, based on incorrect exegesis. This subject is covered in far more detail via the links in the resources section.
Is there a difference between sexual orientation and gender identity?
Absolutely! They are completely different things. There are many expressions of our sexuality and gender. For example, some guys are attracted to to women but also feel like they are very feminine themselves. Others may be attracted to the same sex but feel very masculine. The combinations are endless because how we feel about our sexuality and gender is unique to all of us. This variable spectrum explains everything from butch gay guys to cross dressers to transgender and everything in between.
