A worthy cause??

I’ve really hesitated about writing this. I’ve always tried to be transparent with Silent Gays and how I work, so in the end I thought I should share this.

The last thing I want to do is guilt trip people – seriously, I hate it when I see those sorts of posts in social media and money-begging emails. You know what I mean!

So how do we ask for financial help in a way that gets people to respond, without using emotional manipulation?

Here’s the thing…

The guy I’ve been helping escape from Tanzania (from horrific life threatening LGBT persecution) has been something of a “project” for me (although that does sound a bit dehumanising).

You may recall, I’ve posted regular updates on where he’s at and his current needs. He’s been absolutely honest and transparent with me every step of the way. He’s shared personal videos of what he’s faced – his fears and joys through it all. However, he’s still got a way to go, as he faces never ending obstacles from homophobic authorities – despite his rights to refugee status.

I asked for financial help, because that’s where the rubber hits the road. Giving him “thoughts and prayers” isn’t going to save his life. I received around $300 from four generous people, for which I’m very grateful. I personally committed to help no matter what. This has meant I’ve used over $1200 of my savings and I’m about to put in another $500 or so to help him get to the Kakuma Refugee Camp and pay for all the hoops he has to jump through to stay in the refugee camp on the other side of Kenya. But he’s very scared, because the camp has a very bad reputation for LGBT abuse.

Despite this, I’m no longer going to ask for money – I’m sick of it, and I guess everyone else is.

However, I’m not bitter or angry about the lack of response and support at all. But I’m very disappointed. Disappointed that fellow humans would calmly ignore this. Disappointed that I have done the same on many occasions. Disappointed that anything that comes from African nations is regarded as a scam or rip-off (which is sort of understandable given the reputation of Nigerian scammers). Disappointed that we happily support causes that are local, but are blind to communities that have no chance of any local support – who’s only hope is with western privileged society.

So what constitutes a “worthy cause”? This is something we usually subconsciously process through our “paradigms” and biases – at worst with nothing more than an emotional offhand response, or perhaps with consideration to our priorities to other commitments (of course), or maybe even thinking that we can’t be of any real help because we could only give a few dollars. I guess there’s a lot of valid reasons, and a lot of really shitty reasons, and that’s something each of us have to work through – or not.

Whatever the issues around all this stuff, I’m just writing this to bring some awareness to how we respond to others in need – not only in other distant lands, but also to those right here with us. As I said, it’s not an attempt to guilt-trip, but an honest desire for us to genuinely assess what’s important.