I just watched the new Netflix movie Pray Away
I though I’d give some first impressions/reactions before taking some time to consider the deeper implications.
Very powerful, well produced, sensitive and respectful and yet very pointed in it’s premise.
As someone who spent 40 years of their life living this lie, I related to just about everything they presented. I was a desperate young man, looking to understand what was wrong with me and willing to try anything.
I even ended up became a leader in Living Waters, while still living a life of fear, shame and guilt, underscored by depression and suicide ideation. The movie presents this dynamic very intimately through the lives of a few of the key leaders of Exodus.
However, I don’t think it went anywhere near far enough into the complexities of this issue. But perhaps I feel that way because I’ve already worked through so much of it already. I guess the film could be viewed as a wake up call – an introduction that invites us to dig deeper.
For me, it wasn’t just reconciling my sexuality with my faith however. My faith was an integral part of everything I’d experienced, and clinging to Jesus was all that kept me alive. But the destruction ex-gay practices brought on my mind and life also directly affected my beliefs, to the point where they no longer had any validity. This film actually caused me to feel sad for those survivors who still cling to the faith that tried to destroy them. Of course, I know theologies and doctrines that successfully reconcile these issues, but the fact that this could even happen caused me to look outside the box of my dogmas and experiences.
So yeah, great film, and I know many will be inspired and set free by the bravery of those who spoke out. I think it will be a huge catalyst to freeing countless LGBT+ people, and exposing the doctrines of fundamentalist religion.
For me, its brought up some old wounds that need to be addressed, but its also inspired me to keep going deeper, and exposing the entire belief system that allows humans to be treated like this in the first place.
