Internalised Homophobia

Internalised Homophobia is a real thing, and it’s one of the most destructive things LGBT people can suffer from. Basically, you’ve been conditioned by cultural and religious input for so long that you “know” that being gay is perverted and sinful. You are convinced that anyone who is LGBT is sick and needs to repent or get professional help. The problem is you are gay.homophobia You repress and deny what you feel, because to admit that you are gay is in complete contradiction to your foundational beliefs. This produces cognitive dissonance (the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioural decisions and attitude change) – often severe. Severe enough to produce mental health issues, often chronic depression and suicidal ideation. The journey through this is tough, and far too many don’t make it. To make sense of this requires guts and determination, to look at the issue face on and start searching for the facts –
  • facts about what being LGBT actually means
  • facts about cultural and religious mindsets or paradigms
  • facts about religion and it’s origins
  • facts about our entire belief system
And it requires a willingness to have a “crisis of faith”, whatever that may look like. But the good news is you are not alone! Millions of people are in the same boat. And the simple fact that you’ve made it this far proves you are far stronger than you think! Love is the solution. And that’s not some empty platitude. Love has nothing to do with God or religion – it transcends everything. Love is the only thing that brings peace, joy and change. Look for and embrace love – start within yourself.


  • Peter Reply

    This whole site saddens me as does your blog, I have been through most of the issues you speak of as a follower of Jesus. I at times am sad to be Gay, Sites like this over due everything about being gay,. Don’t know if you have ever heard of the MCC (Metropolitan Community Church) it is a gay Christian npn denominational church check it out.

    If we simply let people be people without worrying about Gay Straight or otherwise the world could be a happier and safer, but Gays feel the need to be in the spotlight and of is annoying ,. There are more important issues then being gay, hunger, poverty, terrorism everything does not have to be about GAY

    I identify as a man who is gay, NOT A GAY MAN

    • silentgays Reply

      Thanks Peter. I totally get what you are saying and MCC do a pretty good job if you still want to hang on to the christian belief system.
      Silent Gays is for those who have been so damaged by the church as well as the core doctrines of christianity that they need a safe place to deconstruct and find their own spirtuality, no matter what it looks like. Living with integrity of heart is far more important than any belief system and it’s doctrines.
      The other issue is that sadly, we must speak up, and speak loudly. There are millions of LGBT people trapped in abusive religion who have no voice, no way of escape, who need to know there are people who will hear them and help them through unconditional love beyond the walls of religion.

  • GIMMEL YOD Reply

    G0YS are the ONLY group that has so completely addressed the various dimensions of the “gay community” that cognitive dissonance vanishes and a very healthy view of what IS and is NOT SIN (& most importantly …. WHY) takes root. g0ys – spelled w. a zer0. G00GLE ’em…

    • silentgays Reply

      G0ys is ok if you are determined to stick to fundamentalist christian paradigms and try to juggle the scriptures to make them work.
      In reality, life is far bigger and better than all that. Silent Gays is for those who’ve struggled so much that even the core beliefs of christianity are in question. We provide a safe space for people to deconstruct without christian biases, so they can find their own freedom and life beyond the walls of religion.
      Life is so much bigger and better once we let go of the tiny world of the christian paradigm!

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