“It’s Life Jim…” – Reduced price!!

“It’s Life Jim…” has been reduced to only $10US indefinitely!

I’m not in this for the money – I just want to get the word out – that there is hope beyond religion – that there is life and love that goes beyond anything it could ever offer.

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A Journey to Sexual and Spiritual Reconciliation via the Road of Fundamentalist Religion.

A Journey to Sexual and Spiritual Reconciliation via the Road of Fundamentalist Religion.

Religious fundamentalism a mental illness?

I have battled with religious fundamentalism for a large portion of my life – from both sides!

I was in it up to the eyeballs, yet often questioning so much of it. I felt confused a lot of the time because part of me was convinced it was all true, but another part of me said it was ridiculous. I repressed the latter out of fear.

This article presents a perspective that I can relate to, as one who suffered deeply through it all. It left me scarred but wiser.

Please read the whole article before jumping to conclusions though!

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Click here for full article

Internalised Homophobia

Internalised Homophobia is a real thing, and it’s one of the most destructive things LGBT people can suffer from.

Basically, you’ve been conditioned by cultural and religious input for so long that you “know” that being gay is perverted and sinful. You are convinced that anyone who is LGBT is sick and needs to repent or get professional help.

The problem is you are gay.homophobia

You repress and deny what you feel, because to admit that you are gay is in complete contradiction to your foundational beliefs. This produces cognitive dissonance (the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioural decisions and attitude change) – often severe. Severe enough to produce mental health issues, often chronic depression and suicidal ideation.

The journey through this is tough, and far too many don’t make it. To make sense of this requires guts and determination, to look at the issue face on and start searching for the facts –

  • facts about what being LGBT actually means
  • facts about cultural and religious mindsets or paradigms
  • facts about religion and it’s origins
  • facts about our entire belief system

And it requires a willingness to have a “crisis of faith”, whatever that may look like.

But the good news is you are not alone! Millions of people are in the same boat. And the simple fact that you’ve made it this far proves you are far stronger than you think!

Love is the solution. And that’s not some empty platitude. Love has nothing to do with God or religion – it transcends everything. Love is the only thing that brings peace, joy and change.

Look for and embrace love – start within yourself.

There are some happy endings!

Another dose of sick religion!

Get ready to grab a tissue, because this is an incredibly beautiful and sad story of a real family coming together…

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Marlon James – “ex-gay” exorcism survivor

The winner of the prestigious Man Booker Prize says he underwent exorcism as part of a therapy pushed by the “ex-gay” religious movement in Jamaica.

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Openly gay author Marlon James, who won the Man Booker Prize in 2015 for his novel A Brief History of Seven Killings, underwent the therapy thinking he was trapped in a cycle of self destructive habits.

“It’s only in talking to people who’ve been through the ex-gay movement that I realise what I went through was exactly what they went through – I didn’t know there was a rule book,” he told The Sunday Star Times.

“I went through it because I thought I was trapped in a cycle of self-destructive habits and I needed more than prayer every Sunday to break it.

“But having read about other people who went through ex-gay therapy – about the two preachers, the praying, the driving out spirits, the having the bags on the floor so you can vomit in them when you throw up – it occurred to me they were doing the same thing.

“I went through that because I thought I was on this cycle of temptation, sin, forgiveness, redemption, temptation, sin, forgiveness, redemption and I had got tired of it. And the funny thing is that I really do think that exorcism really did clear things up – it made me realise that you could try to get rid of temptation and you could try to get rid of sin or you could try to get rid of religion – and I’d tried all the others and it really hadn’t worked.

“Then I said ‘what about if I get rid of religion’ – and that has worked out fine…”

James came out publicly last year in the The New York Times when he was commissioned to write a piece that was a voyage to himself.

 

Original article here

Jim Marjoram – former Living Waters Leader

Thanks to Anthony Venn-Brown for this great article.

Being gay was something I couldn’t put words to as a child, being attracted to guys was simply how I was wired. But it was always “wrong” and filled me with shame, so after a spiritual experience at 15, I determined to become straight, going through every form of Christian therapy I could find to fix the problem. Years of prayer counselling, casting out demons, breaking family lines of oppression and just about every crackpot idea imaginable, including marrying a woman, finally lead to discovering Living Waters in the late 90s. Read full article…

 

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Jim Marjoram – former Living Waters Leader

We’ve only just begun…

Reparative therapy – Conversion therapy – “pray away the gay” – is on the decline and many organisations are closing their doors because they have realised that it doesn’t work. There’s a few fundamentalist die-hards that have regrouped to form even more evil and destructive “ministries”, and some of the smaller ones persist despite the overwhelming evidence that it not only doesn’t work but is extremely harmful.

So this is cause for cautious celebration isn’t it?gay deliverance

Well, not so fast. The problem is far deeper than these higher profile groups.

Most fundamentalist churches are extremely anti-LGBT. Perhaps they have a policy of welcoming them into the church, but it’s on the condition they change, and that’s where the fun begins.

The basic premises of reparative therapy have been accepted amongst Christendom as truth and adopted by every amateur prayer counsellor. Nearly every church has at least one “expert” ready to pray away the gay. They may be an elder who claims to have God’s anointing, a well meaning elderly woman who is regarded as the “intercessor”, the home group leader who has aspirations of running his own church some day, the prayer team who believe they can change anything if they pray long enough… many of them are really well meaning, genuinely believing they are helping people into freedom and new life. They all believe that anything outside the traditional sexual/gender stereotype is a sin – whether it’s caused by some deep emotional scar or a lifestyle choice, even if it’s from being led astray by ungodly relationships.

These are the ones that do just as much, if not more, damage as the established reparative therapy groups.

Deliverance (casting out demons) is a favourite practice in many circles, especially Pentecostal churches. Whatever methods they use, the results are the same – deep trauma, cognitive dissonance, lowered self-worth and much more – often leading to complex mental health issues and all too often chronic depression and suicide.

We may be winning the high profile battles against this evil practice, but we have yet to face the real battles. Religion itself is the enemy. A religion that is based on conditional, performance driven “love”, fuelled by traditions and dogma.

Unconditional love is the only answer – an answer that religion fails to understand at the deepest level.

I was a chronic liar!

Lying.

We hate liars. We are taught from day one that its absolutely wrong to lie, and when we catch people lying it destroys trust and credibility.

But we all tell little lies every so often. We twist the truth a little, tell “white lies”, you know the story. It’s even justifiable if the truth could do more damage than a careful lie!

But I lied all my life. I lied about who I was. I lied to myself every day. I lied to my family and friends. I lied to everyone.

I felt like I had no choice, but it ate me up from the inside out. “Coming out” as gay was inconceivable. Confiding in friends wasn’t even an option – even those who I had some sort of “same sex” relationship with wouldn’t talk about it. We just “did it”. We had to lie.

Lying is so incredibly destructive. Obviously to those around us, but even more so to ourselves. It causes us to slowly build a false reality, a dual reality. It splits us, creating cognitive dissonance. It begins the process of mental illness and for some this can end in death.

I lied to my wife (both of them). I lied to my family. It was the only thing I could do to survive. But it nearly killed me.

This is why personal integrity is so important to me now. I ached to be “integral” all my life. You can’t imagine what a relief it is to have nothing to hide any more!

When I say I’m free, I really mean I’m finally living whole and with integrity. I am who I am, open and transparent. Perhaps too open sometimes, but I don’t care. It’s such a massive relief to tell the world that I no longer have anything to hide. I’m not lying to you any more! No more skeletons in the closet. No more fear. No more self hatred.

I’m free! Yeah, it’s all relative, and I know there are still many parts of my identity and “being” I don’t understand. I’m still influenced by the deep scars of the lies, and my emotions betray that far too often. But I’m free of the need to lie – about anything actually.

Life is good!!

Another blow to reparative therapy!

U.S. Supreme Court delivers another blow to conversion therapy industry

The action came in an appeal filed by the rabidly anti-LGBT group Liberty Counsel, which argued that New Jersey’s law violates the religious and free speech rights of a young man and his parents… [click here for full story]

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Bloody Money!!

I’ve been pretty up front with the financial needs of running Silent Gays and getting my book off the ground, as well as trying to fund my new LGBT information booklet.money
I have a few faithful supporters who have been amazing and helped through tough times – you know who you are and I have appreciated every cent and put it to good use.
But really, it’s a lost cause. Not the work I’m doing – just trying to get financial support. So good news! I’ve decided to drop the whole money side for good.
No one really wants to help, and I don’t blame anyone in the slightest. I must admit I get really bored of people trying to raise money for their passionate causes. It’s not often I give much myself, so I need to stop the hypocrisy – stop thrashing the dead horse. I get pissed off with every “ministry” pestering me for money, and I’m no better really.
I’m still providing opportunities to help on the Silent Gays Money! page through selling various things (music, books etc). But really, if I have to beg for money I’m having myself on.
I’ve got to do this right, with integrity and honesty – self funded, without hassling and degrading the quality of what I do.
Large quantities of love to you all!