• You’ve tried to be “straight”, in fact you’ve pleaded with God through tears of shame, fear and guilt to take away this terrible “sin”!
  • Your stomach turns to knots and you feel sick when people talk about the evils of being gay, and pray with every ounce of strength you have, that you are putting on a good “straight” face.
  • You just can’t shake the possibility that you really are an “abomination” and destined for hell!
  • You are living a silent, dual life – with a secret that is too much to share – wondering how you’ll survive.
  • You even wonder if everything you’ve believed is a lie!

The Silent Gays Project is here to help people process their sexual and gender identities and the torment they suffer in their faith by providing the freedom and security to question everything, including their entire belief system, without fear.

Unlike Christian LGBT support groups we provide resources and spaces to explore sexuality, gender AND religious belief systems.

This free booklet provides succinct information about the nature of sexuality and gender, our paradigms that govern the way we view belief systems, reparative therapy and church ministry, the impact of religion on LGBT people and encouragement to find a way forward.

We want to help people recognise religious paradigms and discover their own unique identity and spiritual journey with respect, dignity and integrity. You can find us on Facebook where we post hard hitting and relevant information and updates for the community as well as promoting discussion.

There are also 2 “secret” Silent Gays Facebook groups where members are free to share their hearts (all the pain and crap) in a safe and secure environment.

It’s not just online either. We are aiming to create a network of groups worldwide providing personal support in small groups (currently only in New Zealand). We also run seminars and workshops for anyone interested in understanding the nature and complexity of sexual and gender identity.

The core standards are always love, acceptance, compassion, nurture and empathy. Theology, doctrines or any specific religious beliefs are secondary to the support and unconditional love for every individual.

I have also written my autobiography “It’s Life Jim…”, covering my own journey through religion as a “silent gay”.

For inquiries and confidential help email us at

Regular Support Group Meetings

Auckland North Shore
4th Saturday of the month – 10am to 12pm

Facebook event here